Audio version one step closer

Well we sure turned the air blue recording the audio version of Stoney Baloney tonight. Keith Douglas's potty mouth was in full effect, I'd have recorded bleeps over his swearing but it would have ended up sounding like a dead person flatlining. He seemed intrigued by the book's ending, a touch of poetic licence had been used, but if I'm the one who could be arsed to write the bleeding thing I can say what I bloody well like, end of.

The book is selling well, several outlets are looking to stock it now so you won't struggle to buy a copy (or have an excuse not to). As things stand they're available at the golf club, RBS & Bank Of Scotland in Stonehaven, Jenni Mac's (get yourself a delicious sandwich while you're in there) and online via Amazon. The audio version aint far away but make sure the kids aren't around when you press 'Play'.

Banchory tankory

Well that's my golf over for the season, serves me right for playing with three slipped discs. I dosed up on painkillers but they'd outlived their usefulness by the fourth green and the remainder of the round was like a slow death. Banchory isn't a tough track but try it with an electric shock searing up your coccyx every time you strike the ball, it ain't funny.

No golf for me then but I'll be up at Stoney Golf Club for Captain's Day this weekend where members will graciously contribute cash for the RNLI and Rotary. In return they'll receive Stoney Baloney, a page turning opus to rival Dostoyevsky for international acclaim. Seven sovereigns and you could be a proud owner. I'll be at Stonehaven's Harbour Festival on Sunday too, just follow the crowds, I'll be the one signing autographs and agreeing to selfies next to my yacht in the harbour.

Fame! I'm gonna live forever...

It's early days but so far the reviews of my book have been encouraging.

'this is some sort of joke right?' - Auchenblae Messenger

'this book's a triumph...if you have a wonky coffee table to steady' - P&J

'he's no son of mine' - my mother

'absolute rubbish' - Mearns Leader

The book launch on Saturday wasn't quite the spectacle I'd hoped for, somewhat lacking in pizzazz. The signs weren't good when The Chuckle Brothers cancelled, they were going to cut the tape but took a last minute booking at Accrington Baths for a kids swimming gala instead. Charming. The helium balloons I'd bought were hijacked by kids who used them to make silly voices and the shop owner's dog cocked his leg over my first box of books. The anticipated queue from car park to front door wasn't disorderly thanks chiefly to its non existence and when finally a couple of people did pitch up I was to discover they'd got lost and simply wanted directions to the bogs.

Hey ho, we'll go again this weekend with a relaunch at Stonehaven Golf Club. It's Captain's Day so perhaps club members will dig deep, I suggest they do or they'll discover how deep I can dig ...down at the cemetery by the 18th green. Plenty room for more bodies down there.

And release....

And it came to pass on a sunny Auchenblae morn, that a grumpy parcel delivery driver with rancid body odour did alight at Chez Russon, offload seven hundred and fifty copies of Stoney Baloney and disappear without trace. Verily therefore, I do now stand the proud owner of twenty two boxes containing books that I hope will presently wing their way via my front room to bedside tables across the land.

Stoney Baloney is an account of golfing escapades fair and foul at Stonehaven Golf Club, with heated competition, stand up rows and ill timed wind breaking. Who knew golf could get so feisty in a sleepy, coastal town? If you have as much pleasure in reading this book as I had in writing it then we'll both be happy, either way two exceptional charities in the RNLI and Rotary will benefit from the proceeds.

The book is available in paperback directly from Stonehaven Golf Club, Jenny Macs or RBS in Stoney, via Amazon Kindle or by dropping me a line at naffgolfer@gmail.com. The suggested price is £7 (£8.50 with postage & packing) but with all proceeds going to charity feel free to sneak a little more into the pot should you see fit!

Thank you very much for your support.
Severiano Russon