My Ear Candy #25 Lesa Taylor & Aisling Hanly FitzGerald

Welcome to the weekly summary of Stoney Baloney, my Friday night mess around on local radio. 

I welcomed a posse of unofficial Forfar Athletic nuts this week (with the emphasis on nuts) who’d travelled up to share some tracks ahead of their club’s fixture at East Fife the following day. I can only assume there’s something about a forthcoming trip to Methil that has people spoiling for a fight since my roguish Forfarian guests put me through my paces and no mistake,  cheek and pelters dished out in equal measure.

But let’s start with an official dressing down of my fellow presenter Lewis Main who strung me up like a kipper by sabotaging the controls before handing over at 9pm. The spineless gimp set me up with a toe curling intro, a diabolical Rick Astley and Kylie Minogue mashup. You’ll get yours Main, mark my words. Enough though of internal caperings , let us turn to Forfar’s golden girls, Lesa and Aisling.

They’d decided to select tracks with a Forfar Athletic connection so began with the theme music to cult film ‘Local Hero’ since this is the music the players run out to. It was pleasant enough but took a few minutes to get going, a description of our daily lives is it not? Next came ‘The Only Way Is Up’ upon which I delivered a mercy killing after three minutes since I could take no more, but the remaining four tracks were spot on; Oasis, Springsteen, Carly Simon and Petty.

Each track related in some fashion to Forfar Athletic FC and none more so than Carly Simon’s ‘You’re So Vain’, a nod towards the, shall we say, self conscious individuals within the club. Aisling explained there were a number of contenders for the club’s ,biggest poser’ accolade,not all of them players, a certain director earning a mention while he was out of the studio taking a leak, but Forfar’s Strutting Peacock-in-Chief turned out to be player Michael Travis. Congratulations Mikey, I’ve taken a peek at your profile and can confirm you’re fully deserving of the award, I’m sure you’ll be putting our star prize, a vat of hair gel and gold plated nasal hair trimmer, to good use.

Turning to my guests, I must say what a delight they were. Chaperoned by club directors Alastair Donald and Louise Taylor, who were equally as cheeky (Donald) and pleasant (Taylor), these beautiful ladies were a good laugh as we crashed through topics that embraced Forfar, personalised number plates, grumbling supporters, children, books, this, that and indeed the other. Great fun, good people, super football club. The kind gift of a mini Baxter The Bridie was much appreciated by my lad Ernie thanks ladies, he’s a bona fide Loon now for sure.

Lesa & Aisling’s selections

1. Local Hero - Mark Knopfler
2. The Only Way Is Up - Yazz
3. Learning To Fly - Tom Petty
4. You’re So Vain - Carly Simon
5. Don’t Look Back In Anger - Oasis
6. Dancing In The Dark - Bruce Springsteen

My Ear Candy #24 Bob Keiller

My guest this week was Bob Keiller, he was gonna be a ‘special’ guest until he turned up late and confessed on air that he didn’t like football so was rightly demoted to mere ‘guest’ status. This startling faux pas apart, Bob proved a very entertaining guest and, unlike many of my invitees, brought along good selections.

What can I tell you about Bob? Well click on this link, choose Stoney Baloney and wind it on to the 25 minute mark and he’ll tell you himself, keep listening for an hour and you’ll hear his favourite tracks and more too. We had a great time, despite the barely forgivable selection of a George Michael track, not something I usually permit but given Bob’s got a CBE and is therefore borderline royalty I felt compelled.

The best tracks were the first, a brilliant cover of a Simon & Garfunkel track by a band that really ought to think harder about their stage name, and the last choice, ‘Sunny’. I advise you to listen to the poignant reason Bob chose this song, anyone who’s experienced a similar trauma will identity I hope with the terrific lyrics and passion with which Bobby Herb sings. Oasis are always a winner, there’s a great story behind the UB40 song and The Jam I won’t comment upon given their lead singer once slated Depeche Mode, he should be shackled in the Tower of London for that.

Thanks for being a super guest Bob, if you ever want to get into football let me know and I’ll get you down to Villa Park, bring your boots and you’ll get a game.

Bob’s Selections 

1. Pigpen Theatre Company  -The Only Living Boy in New York

2. The Jam - Down in the Tube Station at Midnight

3. UB40 - Tyler

4. George Michael - Killer/My Papa was a Rolling Stone

5. Oasis - Champagne Supernova

6. Bobby Herb - Sunny

My Ear Candy #23 Eilidh MacGillivray

Fun unconfined at Mearns FM on Friday night although it started in mini-disaster, I dropped the station's yet to be collected Christmas raffle prize and six bottles of craft beer hit the deck with predictable consequences. The studio was now honking of alcohol and given I'm a recovering alcoholic that wasn't good. I managed to resist licking up the mess and quietened the stench with carpet shampoo before spinning the first disc.

Tonight's special guest was Eilidh (pronounced Aylee for the benefit of English readers).Her stage name would surely be Aylee Mac, I suppose mine would be Big Al except I'm not big and only my brother Stu calls me Al so scrub that. Eilidh had mercifully good taste but even better still her father was listening, not because this doubles my listenership but because he requested a Dylan track which gave me carte blanche to play half a dozen of them. Any excuse.

Eilidh's ten year old daughter Isla also tuned in and it was her selection that we kicked off with, an Amy MacDonald number which I enjoyed to my surprise. Next, as craft beer coarsed through our nostrils, came a Blondie track during which we agreed how delectable she was, I spent the best part of the eighties drooling over her you know (Blondie not Eilidh, not that Eilidh isn't worthy of being drooled over, I'm not dissing Aylee Mac or anything, oh sod it I'll stop digging). Eilidh was super company if a little impish, she dished out more cheek than I would usually deem acceptable, it's about time my guests accepted that I'm the star of the show, they need to know their place.

So two very pleasurable hours spent despite the pungent odour of stale ale seeping into the carpet before we made our escape into the Aberdeenshire wind and rain. Thank you Eilidh and thank you Eilidh's dad. Here's a link for those who missed it...listen-again , just pick 'Stoney Baloney'.

Eilidh's selections
1. Amy Macdonald - Mr Rock n Roll
2. David Bowie - Starman
3. Blondie - Atomic
4. Fleetwood Mac - Gypsy
5. Chemical Brothers - Hey Boy Hey Girl
6. Primal Scream - Movin' On Up

My Ear Candy #22 - Steve Thomson

‘Twas a cold Aberdeenshire night, driving rain ushering people home, the frozen streets now deserted. The general public, knowing not how best to spend their evenings indoors, the television offering nothing having played all of its trump cards over the festive period, retired to their social media outlets in search of entertainment. How would they get through the night? What was there to relieve the beckoning boredom? Then it happened, the gift that only a chosen few rightfully expect, an opportunity to turn evenings from despair to glory, for on their facebook pages arrived a notification from Mearns FM radio informing them that Stoney Baloney was on air, and with it, a selection of sensational songs chosen by presenter, Alex Russon. Then his guest Steve Thomson turned up.

In fairness Steve selected three top tracks, only the first stank the studio out, Queen’s lame effort ‘The Miracle’. House rules dictate Queen output is forbidden, a regulation I diligently uphold, but with Steve appearing on the radio for the first time I took pity and overlooked his glaring indiscretion. We therefore plodded through four minutes of dirge before moving on. 

Steve has a coaching/development business and it was inspiring to hear the encouragement he delivers to people in the workplace looking to better themselves, to improve, to strive. We can all take lessons in self development, not least myself, my ambition rarely having exceeded what I might line my stomach with at my next meal. Steve’s business SYT Coaching & Development is the place to go if your business is looking to bring the best out of its people, for my part I’m beyond repair.

Track two of Steve’s chosen six was a dreamy Pink Floyd instrumental, the type you need to be in the mood for. I’m one of the few to have allowed Pink Floyd to pass me by but this track didn’t offend me, nor the subsequent Nat King Cole effort ‘Smile’ (although In truth I compliment this selection only out of etiquette since one doesn’t diss NKC, regarded as musical royalty.) Order was restored with three top notch tunes from an era I’m happy to be stuck in (late 70s/through the 80s), topped by a Simple Minds track that used to have Stonehaven’s Commy disco bouncing.

Thanks Steve for being a super guest, a nicer guy you couldn’t meet, unless taking into account Villa’s goalkeeper who is benevolent beyond measure towards opposing strikers. Steve’s football leanings are in the direction of Aberdeen FC, this I can accept. His wider family have Arsenal FC sympathies however and with that comes disdain, a more soulless squad of squillionaire posers you couldn’t wish to find but don’t start me on modern day football.

Steve’s Selections 

1. The Miracle - Queen
2. Marooned - Pink Floyd
3. Ghost Dancing - Simple Minds
4. Smile - Nat King Cole
5. Perfect Skin - Lloyd Cole
6. Dreamer - Supertramp