Sunday, 1 November 2015

Round 2 - Oct 31st 2015


Nothing takes the wind out of an expectant golfer’s sails like a ‘Course Closed’ sign as he pulls into the car park. Heavy rainfall had waterlogged the course sufficiently for the greenkeeper to send the early starters packing and the place was deserted by 10am. Nonetheless, Keith and I shared a couple of frames of snooker in the clubhouse hoping that the course might be re-opened if we waited long enough. An hour later and our patience was rewarded. No further rain, course open, green grass replaced green baize (something of a blessing, I thought my golf was bad but hells bells I couldn’t pot a plant never mind a red).

Two other guys, Craig and Graham, made up the fourball. I assume Keith knew them since they kept calling him ‘Sheepo’, not something you’d ordinarily address a stranger as. (Mental note : ask Keith why the hell people nickname him Sheepo).

I had a quiet word with myself before play began. Keith, or should that be Sheepo, by his own admission, had been a reluctant winter league partner and the prospect of rising from his pit early on a Saturday morning hadn’t been appetising to him, but he’d kindly relented. I needed to devise a way of maintaining his enthusiasm, ensure his sustained interest, find a way to keep him in the habit of golfing on a Saturday throughout the cold winter months that were to come. So I hatched a plan.

In the first round I felt I’d been rather greedy with my share in our combined betterball score of 67. I’d notched three contributions out of the eighteen holes which while at first sight may appear paltry, was in fact a stellar performance given I was suffering with a blocked up nose . So I decided to step back a little this week, fall on my sword if you will, and allow Keith rather more prominence, a more significant slice of the pie. If his score was such that he could walk away feeling puffed up with his performance, proud and invigorated, it would encourage him to come back again next week rather than sink deeper under the covers to nurse the after effects of a Stoney bender.


I therefore proceeded to contribute precisely nothing to this week’s score, that’s right, I quite literally didn’t improve upon Keith’s tally on one single hole. Now some might suggest this to be overly generous of me, perhaps bordering on the insulting that I should be so overtly full of grace and goodwill. Let me say to such accusers that I understand your standpoint. Why would someone be so giving in nature as to afford his partner all of the credit when in truth the two of them were participating in a team game? My response to that assertion however is a simple one; what kind of world would this be if a little benevolence wasn’t evidenced every once in a while? Our planet is dominated by the selfish and the egotistical, celebrities are fawned over and notoriety appears to be the only objective of our youth today. It’s vital, I feel, that the brotherhood of man progresses from its single minded, self-centred selfishness and instead encourages the fellow man to share the limelight once in a while.  We must surely, in all humility, give a little. In my own small way therefore I feel I poured a little of the milk of human kindness upon Keith by allowing him to score a singlehanded 63 with no assistance whatsoever from myself towards our team score (also of course, 63). He made four birdies, thirteen pars and countless clutch putts, but I’d like to think he sat before an open fire on Saturday evening, resplendent in his smoking jacket, swirled a brandy around the rim of a crystal glass, and humbly raised a toast to his winter league golfing partner, the man who had the humility to step aside and allow him his moment in the sun. All I can say is that it was my pleasure Keith and I haven’t ruled out repeating it (week after week).


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