I put my name down to play with another two sporting legends last week since my previous playing partners (Lanky and Shorty baldies) had their names down for the Saturday and I could only play Sunday. With much trepidation then I accompanied two local footballing legends K.Duguid ( ex-AC Mill Inn, aka Maldini) and E.Campbell(ex-Stonehaven Juniors aka Macaroni or Arnie). Kevin's genes must have been passed on to his son Craig since he went on to play professional for, among others, the mighty Aberdeen FC. Arnie's genes, or rather, jeans, are a bit tight.....hence the Schwarzeneger style nickname.
Maldini informed us he was clubhouse leader in the Winter league singles when we alighted then confirmed this lofty status by calmly birdieing the 1st hole, however at the 2nd we looked for his ball for so long that I suggested he night have a magic watch given the allotted five minutes seemed like five hours. Eventually bullet number 1 was declared lost and a no score recorded so we moved to the humpless 3rd which had Maldini's ball short of where they used to be even after three shots, another no score. Onto the 4th and Maldini hit it further left than I've ever seen in my 35, oops sorry lanky baldy, 34 years as a member, eventually reaching the green 27 minutes later, again, no score. Onto the gully and Maldini proceeded to lose bullets number 2 & 3 and I'm now beginning to have my doubts about the previous scores he'd claimed. However, he popped up with some pars until we reached the old 11th, yes bullet number 4 goes for a burton, then onto the old 12th, the piece de resistance, a fresh air shot followed by bullet number 5 disappearing stage left provoking my quip "never mind a magic watch, your regular playing partners must have a magic pencil." Arnie sniggered, I said "what's funny?", he replied " I'll tell you later" and we carried on, Maldini losing the last of his second sleeve of Penfolds.
We shook hands on the 18th and I wished Maldini all the best in his quest to be winter league champion 2016/17. I then asked Arnie to explain his earlier sniggering and he told me to look at the doubles leaderboard. This I duly did and the penny dropped. Maldini's regular partners were the doubles leaders! I will not name and shame said individuals however most members will by now be aware who Maldini's partners in crime are.
After the formalities, we went to put Maldini's score (current average 39.4) into the computer.and adjourned to the bar. Strangely, Maldini steadfastly refused to remove his glove and only after much coercion was it revealed that it was Mrs Maldini's birthday weekend during which a few libations had been had which lead them to the The Market Bar in Montrose, Stonehaven railway station having been passed through in the land of slumber. I asked again "what about the glove?" to which he replied "the glove is because of last night", upon which he removed the said hand coverer to reveal the stamp of shame! Yes, the Maldini's had gone on to Stonehaven's only night club, Zeeees, the stamp still clearly visible, a shameful confession but still no excuse for what followed on the course last Sunday morning. Consider yourself owned Mr D.
After the formalities, we went to put Maldini's score (current average 39.4) into the computer.and adjourned to the bar. Strangely, Maldini steadfastly refused to remove his glove and only after much coercion was it revealed that it was Mrs Maldini's birthday weekend during which a few libations had been had which lead them to the The Market Bar in Montrose, Stonehaven railway station having been passed through in the land of slumber. I asked again "what about the glove?" to which he replied "the glove is because of last night", upon which he removed the said hand coverer to reveal the stamp of shame! Yes, the Maldini's had gone on to Stonehaven's only night club, Zeeees, the stamp still clearly visible, a shameful confession but still no excuse for what followed on the course last Sunday morning. Consider yourself owned Mr D.
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