My Ear Candy #29 Steven J Innes

Never mind snowmageddon, Mearns FM had its very own beast from the east in the studio on Friday, Steven J Innes. He had promised to bring wit and wisdom however brought neither, outstaying his welcome by an hour into the bargain, but he did deliver some quality Rangers baiting to justify his invitation. More of that later.

It's fair to say my guests don't always bring the finest of tunes so I limited Mr Innes to two tracks only, merciful behaviour in the interests of my listeners, all three of them. His first one was acceptable, Bruce Hornsby & The Range's 'The Way It Is', but his second stunk the place out, some middle of the road American muck, lyrics straight from a sixth former's jotter. He's a nice chap Steven, but if his cooking is anything like his music and he invites you round for dinner, I'd get a takeaway if I were you.

We broadcast from a studio at the rear of Stonehaven Town Hall and, somewhat aptly, there was an 80s night underway in the main room. The 80s is our era, (Steven - Kajagoogoo, Black Lace, myself - The Smiths, The Specials) and back then we'd swing our pants at the Commodore disco on a Friday night. I remember well Steven's failed attempts at chatting up girls while I was busy fending them off, I used to feel sorry for him so, to save his blushes, I'd pay him a couple of quid to dish out my autographed photos. Similarly, my agreement to have him as a radio guest was a compensatory gesture of generosity after I'd humbled him at Hazlehead golf course a short while back. I'm a big advocate of care in the community.

But let's return to the Rangers baiting, a comprehensive sullying of Glasgow's blue corner by SJI. I'd explained to him my confusion over the Aberdeen / Rangers feud, where it might have originated, and he described bewilderment himself given the Rangers that the feud encompassed no longer existed. Apparently, according to Steven, that club ceased to exist some years ago and a new entity formed from the ashes. He was very complimentary of this new venture, explaining how they'd progressed through the divisions and were now in the same league as his club Aberdeen, quite an achievement. At this juncture one of his friends contacted him to protest in the strongest terms, this individual had once supported the now defunct football club and felt they were being unjustly insulted. Steven dealt with his complaint satisfactorily and we've offered the complainant the right to reply on a forthcoming show. I'll be inviting Steven too, the ambulance has been booked.

What else did we talk about? Well, Steven's business interests, Aston Villa, Teenage Fanclub, this and that. The music was class, his two selections apart, and if you want the proof just listen here choosing 'Stoney Baloney' and it's available till March 9th. Have a good week everybody.