Stoney Baloney returns...

And it came to pass that Stoney Baloney, that erstwhile community radio show of worldwide repute, was triumphantly recommissioned by Mearns FM, Aberdeenshire’s foremost radio station. A long term break had been sanctioned by the station in order that the presenter ‘got his bloody heid agither’ but just ten weeks in, with all hope of such an outcome lost, the station has caved in to public demand and the show will now return earlier than anticipated. 

So set your watches for 9pm on December 15th when Alex Russon’s banal waffle will once again be interspersed with indie tunes on Mearns FM. Inaccurate whispers in the press had suggested the show’s rebirth would occur a week prior but the station’s studio, based at Stonehaven Town Hall, is instead needed as a dressing room by the Christmas panto cast. The ignominy of being trumped by Widow Twankey is proving a chastening experience for the returning disc jockey but, with characteristic grace, he’s fallen on his sword and agreed to a seven day delay (provided the costumes are left behind for him to try on.)

Only ten days remain before the show’s return, applications are therefore invited for regular weekly listenership. Candidates need to possess a pair of lugs, preferably waxed, and a craving for music of the highest order. Auditions will take place between 9-11pm* on Friday December 15th and successful applicants will be notified in due course as to whether their lugholes will be required on a weekly basis.

*regular listeners will be accustomed to Alex’s 7-9pm slot, this however has been rudely hijacked by a young punk by the name of Lewis Main who steadfastly refuses to relinquish the prime time slot to its original owner. The presenters’ agents are dealing with the matter, meantime Mr Main will continue as the mere warm up act in advance of the main event 😡.