It's been a triumphant week for my winter league partner, Keith
Douglas. First, he got his cheapies when becoming an internet
sensation with his online video going viral and second, he
finally came to the party in round six of our winter league partnership.
First the online stardom. Keith recorded a nine second video which achieved a remarkable quarter of a million hits in two days. Of the following four situations, three are false and one is correct, which situation do you reckon his video depicted?
- Crossing an old lady over the road?
- The touching moment when a young child is reunited with a father returning from an armed forces' foreign posting?
- Handing over a birthday gift to his brother Jack in a tear jerking moment of sibling love?
- Mercilessly mocking the Celtic management team as they skulk back to the dressing room having lost to Aberdeen?
Correct. His 'Nelson off The Simpsons' style 'ha ha' ridiculing of John Collins & Ronnie Daeila proved such a hit that it was seen by hundreds of thousands, most of whom appreciated it while others proved less complimentary according to the facebook replies he received. I was going to attach the video here but my laptop's on the blink, visit Keith Douglas Construction on facebook and you'll see it there.
As for Keith's second triumph of the week, he joined me at Stonehaven GC for another round in our winter league tournament and finally turned in a performance. It was pretty frosty when we met and I don't mean the weather. Keith and I had exchanged solicitor's letters during
the week (see a previous post) after he'd threatened me with legal action over 'libellous' content on this site, so when we alighted at the golf club he
didn't receive me warmly. I was standing beneath the clubhouse
window speaking to Barry McGilvary when Keith appeared at the window, looked
down at me blankly and drew his index finger across his throat. He may have had an itchy neck but in truth appeared to be suggesting my impending murder. He can look forward to another letter from my brief following that unprovoked gesture.
" You
deserve a medal for playing the entire winter league with that tosser"
said Barry, " he really is an insufferable arsehole of the highest order. Hats off to you
for putting up with golf's biggest waster since Maurice Flitcroft, you have my sympathy". Barry's words not mine, but I have to
concur.
However, credit where it's due, Keith put aside
our legal disagreement to play eighteen good holes of golf. This was our
sixth round, we have four still to play, and up until now his contribution could
at best be described as fitful, but he finally came to the party with
birdies on 1, 10 and 17 while parring most of the rest. For my part I
had an uncharacteristic off-day due to a bad back (suffered as a result of carrying Keith for
weeks). Some might say his round of 68 wasn't all that impressive given we were
playing the course at it's most benign and in reality there's truth in that. Due to the winter course being foreshortened, you could drive virtually every par 4 with a half swing and hit
every par 3 with a pitching wedge, the holes were the size of buckets and preferred lies offered the chance to tee the ball up every time you were about to hit it. It may seem churlish to suggest that anyone capable of holding a
golf club the right way round could have broken 70, but there's
no doubt this suggestion has some merit. Nevertheless, I'd like to congratulate
Keith on a well executed round of golf and George Forrester for putting up with us both.
We march on to round 7 next week. I hope my
back has recovered by then and Keith's solicitor has seen sufficient sense to withdraw his threatened action. I also hope I never see another train track again. I sent my ball toward the railway line three times in five holes this weekend, anymore of this and they'll dub me Thomas The Tank Engine.
Maurice Flitcroft wiki entry https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Maurice_Flitcroft
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