With the Winter League triumph duly accomplished (following
McGilvary & Dempster’s disqualification) it’s time now for a fresh
challenge. Too many people revel in former glories and pass up the opportunity
to create new adventures, achieve further success. Not I. While autograph
hunters congratulate me on my latest accomplishment, my mind turns to the next challenge,
I now set my sights on the Stonehaven Club Championship, it would be a fitting accolade on the
thirtieth anniversary of my Junior Championship victory in 1986. Back then I
brushed the field aside before defeating Frank McCarron in an eighteen hole
playoff, this time I will not prolong the agony, I’ll have the tournament done
and dusted within four rounds, no messing.
Regrettably the committee have been putting me under undue
duress to ‘fix’ a playoff scenario whereby I tie the lead after 72 holes and
return for an 18 hole playoff, their argument being that the inevitable crowds
of spectators would generate significant income in clubhouse bar sales. It was a rather grubby arrangement but I kinda
understood where they were coming from, however I declined their tawdry initiative once they
bolted on a clause waiving my right to an appearance fee. I’m a proud member of
Stonehaven Golf Club and don’t want it’s good name dragged down by shady deals
such as this, perhaps instead they can pressurise fellow members to up their
game sufficiently to provide me with a bit of competition instead.
You have to earn the club championship, no-one gifts it to
you, and to this end I have already commenced my preparations for the 2016 Championship.
By the way, I’m not mucking around with the handicap division either, I’m talking
the Scratch Championship, no handicaps, no excuses, just full on barefoot golf.
I welcome all-comers; former champions, the current champion, young bucks who
think they’re Billy Bigtime, anyone brave enough to have a go if they think
they’re hard enough. And those of you buckling at the knees with this
announcement can thank Craig McKechnie. I was quite content nominating
the RBS Pairs title as my next target but our entry to the competition wasn’t
accepted, McKechnie turned up to put our names on the board but got piss#d in
the bar instead and forgot. By the time I'd clocked on to his oversight we’d missed the deadline.
So I now have the club championship in my sights instead. My
approach will be to cultivate my game upon various courses in the region rather
than prepare with the mindless pounding of balls on a driving range. Preparation
is key, my agent has arranged tee-times at Forfar, Meldrum House, Muirfield and
Auchenblae, and that’s just for starters. I’ll also be participating in minor
Stonehaven GC competitions to stir my competitive juices ahead of July’s main
event (eg. Texas Scramble, 2 Clubs & A Putter, ‘Lads On The Lash’ outing to
Camperdown) but I shan’t overdo it.
Round 1 of my preparatory regime was undertaken yesterday at
Forfar Golf Club alongside a couple of business associates (one of whom signed
me in for twelve quid, pretty good deal that). I provide a copy of my scorecard above. You’ll notice a slightly shaky start as I open up with the number of
the beast, double bogeying each of the first three holes to card 6,6,6. (I’d
had a large lunch in Aberdeen and got stuck in traffic so sprinted onto the
first tee which was not ideal preparation. A quick handshake, how do you do and
wallop, away we went, my mind was still on the A90). Leaving aside the front
nine, and okay the tenth hole too, I ripped the last eight holes apart to end
with a creditable 84 including a glorious birdie on 11. Agreed, there’s room
for improvement, but my 84 on a still, dry day off the yellows at a benign
Forfar Golf Club can only strike fear into the hearts of pretenders to this year’s
Stoney crown. Next stop Auchenblae on Tuesday night where I will of course,
ahem, pay my dues in the honesty box by the unmanned starter’s hut.
No comments:
Post a Comment