Tuesday, 5 April 2016

The law is an ASS

The law is an ass. I’ll say that again, the law is an ASS. How in heaven’s name I lost my court case against Keith Douglas today I will never ever know. I now face financial ruin. I rue the day I agreed to partner that pillock in the winter league, if I had my time again I’d tell him to sling his bleedin’ hook, instead I’ve to pay him £76,000 in damages for deformation of character and loss of reputation in the community. Loss of reputation? What bloody reputation? Everyone within a hundred miles knows the bloke’s a tosser, the judge must be on crack. 

Who’s idea was it to let a non-golfing judge preside over the case anyway?  He hadn’t a clue. I’m being charged for grossly defaming Douglas’s golf yet my video evidence of Douglas failing to reach the humps, twice, didn’t register with him at all. My brief then played footage of my own golf swing to show how it’s meant to be done and the judge laughed out loud. What would he know? Take a look at the video yourself (below), does that look like the swing of a duffer? The answer is no and to prove it you’ll notice an autograph hunter approaching me at the end of the clip. He got five grand for that autograph on EBay recently.



Seventy six thousand pounds. I haven’t got that kind of money. Worse, I’ve to pay the cretin’s legal fees too, that’s another forty grand. I’ll have to go bankrupt, I’ve got no choice, this means homelessness not just for me, but my wife and three kids too. She’ll leave me now, she’ll move in with her mother down south and take the kids with her. 

I hope you can look yourself in the mirror Douglas. There was no need for legal action, if you were a real man you’d have sorted it out away from the courts, we'd have had a scrap, but you knew you’d get a good hiding didn’t you? You bottled it you weakling. I’d have knocked your teeth so far down your throat you’d be flossing through your arsehole. I won’t forget this sunshine, you’ll get yours don’t worry. I can be patient, I don’t mind waiting, meantime make sure you look over your shoulder every corner you turn, you never know who might be behind you.  You will pay for this Douglas and that is a promise. 

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