Wednesday, 30 December 2015

SGC Blueprint 2016

Ahead of Stonehaven Golf Club’s AGM in a few weeks time,  I’m proposing a range of initiatives to benefit the club’s constitution (enormously). Over forthcoming days I shall be unveiling a ten point plan which, provided the committee has the foresight to implement it, will revolutionise golf in Stonehaven and generate new membership levels not seen since Tom Watson was rumoured to have bought the house behind the tenth.

To older members these proposals may appear too bold, over ambitious, however we mustn’t fall foul of retrograde intransigence. Progress requires bravery and I urge the committee to embrace change, put their best foot forward and grasp the future with both hands. Homer Simpson once said " You don’t win friends with salad", neither do you win new members with old ideas.  I respectfully ask the Stonehaven GC membership to join with me in appealing to the custodians of our club to approve these forward thinking amendments. 

1. Mulligans

The mulligan is a unique scoring mechanism which, while popular in bounce game circles, has never made it into the official R&A rulebook. Referred to by some as ‘cheating’, it enables a player to reload, without penalty, having slashed a ball out of bounds. It presents a welcome opportunity for despondent golfers to erase the latest blunder from both memory and scorecard before proceeding as if it never happened, the two stroke penalty expunged from the record. In a radical departure from our somewhat archaic scoring system, the proposed Stoney mulligan will afford players the chance of atonement, the opportunity to dust themselves down and start again. The system will be introduced as of the start of the 2016/17 season and apply solely to the 11th hole * before later being moved to the 2nd hole **.

*until I quit the duck hooking
**when I get the yips and start topping it off the tee again


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