Touching Cloth

Just one weekend remains for Stonehaven’s golfers to qualify for the three winter league finals; the singles, the doubles gross and doubles nett. With the top four players qualifying in the doubles and top eight in the singles, the list of contenders has dwindled to a handful, dozens of early hopefuls have long since had their chips, their dreams in tatters, their excuses at the ready, their families rightly ashamed.

In a humble and commendable act of inclusivity by the club’s tournament leaders, the also rans have been invited to form a guard of honour for the leaders from the locker room to the first tee. It’s the least the hundred or so bridesmaids can do having stunk the course out all winter and if they hang around long enough they might learn a thing or two.

The Singles

Ten players remain in contention, the best eight average scores will qualify. (*denotes one more round still to play)

S McGhie                     38.9 points

IP Smith                       36.8

S Hutcheon*                36.8

G Docherty                  36.7

M Ritchie                    35.9

J Nowak                       35.7

A Darragh                   35.5
D Hepburn.                 35.1
K Gordon*.                 35.1
AD Smith.                   34.7

*S Hutcheon may be sitting pretty but has no grounds for complacency. He is yet to complete ten rounds so if he makes a horlicks of his final eighteen holes there are others ready to trample him into the dirt. K Gordon also has a round to play, he's ready to take advantage if D Hepburn has a shocker, Brenda has been asked to keep an eye out in case they spike each other's flasks before play.

The Doubles (gross)

Two other gentlemen touching cloth are Pittendreigh & Adamson. They too have one more round still to register and while in 3^rd place just now, are only a flat tyre or Friday night plate of bad scampi away from oblivion. The top two look nailed on but Dempster/McGillvary face a steward’s enquiry after registering a highly improbable 58 in last week’s horrendous conditions. If they can break 60 with frozen fingers and grips wetter than an otter’s crotch then my name’s Donald Duck.

Dempster/McGillvary             61.9 strokes

Irvine/Roulston                       63.3

Pittendreigh/Adamson*          64.5

Russon/Douglas                      65.0

Arthur/Officer                         65.6

McAllan/Taylor                       65.7

 The Doubles (nett)

McArthur/Henderson             57.0 strokes

Halliday/Campbell                  58.7

Duncan/Wood                         59.1

Barnett/Simpson                     59.8

Starrs/Taylor                           60.3

Pittendreigh/Adamson*          60.4

The heat’s sure on for Pittendreigh/Adamson. If they make a dog’s breakfast of their final round they could dip out on both scratch and nett competition, a disappointing end to a winter that promised much. They must be bricking it, a pre-match session on the throne beckons on Saturday morning for them and a few others too. The changing room lavatory brush will take some hammer this weekend and no mistake.

Best of luck to everyone and I mean that most sincerely, particularly if your partner’s called Douglas.